I’m not okay, and I have no one left to talk to. I’m the only one that really makes effort in almost any of my friendships. No one’s like “Hey! I’m going to talk to you first because you’re actually a priority in my life!” or “I’m going to actually try to hang out with you because you’re a good friend I care about.” No. It’s always me. I always have to make plans. I always have to drive. I always have to pay. All of my friends mooch off of me. And I let them. Because I’m a push over. I let them all come to me with their problems but when I’m upset they don’t care to listen. I’m not okay anymore. I hurt, all the time, no matter how hard I try not to. I cry every night, I’ve just stopped telling people because no one cares. I have so much built up inside, and it’s going to continue to build, because the minute I open up and try to trust someone, they show me exactly why I stopped trusting people in the first place.
I don’t have a best friend anymore.
I don’t have anyone to rely on.
I don’t have anyone to trust.
I don’t need anyone.
I’ll be fine alone.
Always alone.
I don’t need anyone.
Just like no one needs me.
God I’m so stupid.
I keep trying to be strong.
But I can’t.
I just can’t.
I miss you.
I can’t stop it.
Letting people come to me from now on.
If you want me in your life, you’ll put me there.
I’m tired of being the only one trying.
I’m just not going to trust anyone anymore.
I don’t need anyone.
I’ll survive on my own.
Just like I always have.
I wish I could see into the future so I would know if all the shit I’m going through now is even worth it.
Hello, welcome to my safe haven. This will be where I rant and vent about things. Post any writing that I do. And otherwise express myself. A lot of it may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t have to. This is for me, myself, and I. I’m a 17 year old girl, making her way through high school and preparing for the real world. I’d consider myself pansexual, because I believe in falling in love with a person’s personality and not their gender. I’m single, but I’m not available. My emotions are like a roller coaster and I will vent whatever I am feeling on here. If you are not prepared to deal with that, don’t bother following me. I’m not sure what else to say, so I’ll let you discover who I am through my writing.
